Your cat is my wife now

Proud owner of two marimo. They are my babies.
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evabadon:

"when women wear makeup they’re basically lying to us" well i don’t see why i’m being blamed for a man stupid enough to really think i have red and gold eyelids

jolly-plaguefather:

cousinborris:

This is a brilliant idea

… THIS IS THE BEST THING. I NEED THIS DONE NOW! ALRIGHT, PUBLISHERS, COME TAKE ALL MY BOOKS AWAY AND FIX THEM! MAKE THEM SO I CAN DO THAT!

ridge:

i have never felt so bad for a confused mother

congalineofdurin:

toriii-lane:

digitalcrayon:

trashbagtricks:

gaydarjedi:

banesboner:

thank god

*dumps entire bottle of foundation on face*

-eats lipstick-

I’m gonna start wearing makeup in my fucking sleep.

dear god, let it be enough

mormondad:

real life high school advice:

  • dont slack 
  • be friends with everyone 
  • kiss ass like there is no tomorrow

tympanista:

*comes to meet you at Starbucks 15 minutes late with Starbucks from another location*

lron-man:

girl are you a fox because i don’t know what the fuck you’re saying

castiel-is-wonderful:

sionainnlindsay:

castiel-is-wonderful:

WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP

IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S 

LIKE BELONGING TO MR

OMG

Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no.

This was an extremely relevant comment and I thank you for educating me 

disgustinganimals:

someone didn’t follow the instructions on how to build a cat 

clannyphantom:

im excited for this generation of tumblr based teenagers to become parents because i think they will be aware and educated on all sorts of things like gender identity and mental illnesses and such but im also afraid of enrolling my kid into a kindergarten class full of Destials and Johnlocks

dietchola:

why is every girl prettier than me